Torchwood Drinking Game

30 October 2006

An irregular feature here, we'll be starting the Torchwood drinking game to make watching the show more interesting. So...

1. Every time there's an unnecessary aerial shot of Cardiff, take a drink.

2. Every time Jack refuses to reveal any background information, take a drink.

3. Every time there's some sex and/or violence that's been seemingly randomly added on, take a drink.

4. Every time you look at Owen and think "his face looks a bit odd", take a drink.

5. Whenever there's some bisexuality, take a drink.

6. Whenever Gwen thinks she's not good enough to be in Torchwood, take a drink.

6 comments

Comments were left when this post was originally published; commenting is now closed.

egbert_shytley · 30 October 2006
I've started a drinking game to make your blog more interesting.

Every time you are a bit cynical on your blog take a drink.

Every time you sound a bit snobby on your blog take a drink.

Every time you try to be amusing and fail on your blog take a drink.

Every time you attempt to be clever and fail on your blog take a drink.

Needless to say I'm pissed.
Matt · 30 October 2006
Oooh - I'm quite excited to get a rant from a real reader. I actually quite like Torchwood. However, your rules for a drinking game about a mattdeegan.com are very good (and quite accurate). However, my posting is so erratic that it might take you quite a while to actually get very drunk.
helen · 30 October 2006
What if you sip from a glass of water every time you wonder why the Welsh girl's parents never took her to a good orthodontist as a teenager to fix the gap in her front teeth? Very distracting and I don't think that the American market will like it (compare with Billie Piper's perfect teeth which somehow seem too big for her mouth though). The sipping water will balance out the excess alcohol and make sure that you don't get too drunk on a school night.
Jazz · 22 November 2006
That was kind of mean what Helen said...Yes it's a noticeable gap but who really cares...we're not all supermodels. I don't personally car about the American market anymore since Torchwood's going to be on CBC...I don't know when though.
Odon · 6 January 2007
These are from another forum: enjoy. :)

The Torchwood Drinking Game

Take one drink when

1) There is a swooping aerial shot of Cardiff from a helicopter.
2) Someone delivers or orders a pizza.
3) A main character says "snog" or "snogging"
4) A main character says "shag" or "shagging"
5) A hetrosexual snogging occurs
6) someone says "special ops"
7) you can read "Torchwood" on the side of the "top secret" Torchwood mobile.
8) Rhys Williams phones Gwen, or is used for comedic relief.

Take two drinks when

1) Jack (doesn't) die after being killed
2) Lesbian/gay snogging occurs
3) hetrosexual snogging occurs between two main characters
4) hetrosexual shagging occurs
5) Myfanwy the pterodactyl appears (exclude during titles)
6) anyone takes an alien artifact home without permission

Take three drinks when

1) There is a swooping aerial shot of Jack (or other cast member) astride a Cardiff landmark.
2) A Torchwood member betrays the trust of the rest of the team
3) Lesbian/gay shagging occurs
4) Lesbian/gay snogging between two main characters occurs
4) Hetrosexual shagging between two main characters occurs
5) There is a cover up for the murder/death of a member of the public
6) Anyone refers to sex without resorting to euphemisms like "snogging" and "shagging". NB: F-words don't count.

Take four drinks

1) Lesbian/gay shagging between two main characters occurs
2) A main character get stabbed, shot or otherwise seriously injured or mutilated.
3) A dismembered body part appears on screen
4) There is a direct reference to Doctor Who

Drink the entire bottle when

1) The main characters leave earth
2) The Doctor, the TARDIS or genuine companion appear in the episode (not just a body part)
3) An episode ends with no sexual references at all

Throw up when

1) Gwen/Owen snog, shag or even think about it.

Take one drink when

9) Tosh gives Owen a knowing look
10) Gwen gives Jack a knowing look
11) Owen gives Gwen a knowing look
12) Jack gives Ianto a knowing look (can be substitued for an 'evil' if knowing looks are not going spare)

Take two drinks when:

7) Tosh has a good day
8) Whole team wears sunglasses outside on a grey day
9) There is a shoe horned Americana reference to a) CSI, b) Basketball/Baseball in order to cater to BBC America etc to cater for potential American Network deals
10) There is a shoe horned stereotypical Welsh reference, eg: Millennium Stadium, anything in welsh, rugby, to take full advantage of Cardiff potentially being marketed over in America.
11) Someone/Anyone says something/anything derogatory about London.
12) Someone brandishes an impressive weapon (Owen's not included!) with a torch.

Take three drinks when:

7) The CGI utterly lets you down
8) There is no CGI in the episode
9) Subtle "Who" reference is used knowingly (Can also be interpreted as knowing look between RTD and the Whovians tuning in). Clunking great lady-cybers do not class as subtle.
10) Someone brandishes an impressive weapon (Owen's not included!) in a montage.
11) During any montage.

Whole bottle:

4) The Torchwood Blimp takes its inaugural flight
5) Weevil gives Jack a knowing look
6) Little man from office in Glasgow pops in and after thirty minutes learns the art of the knowing look and leaves to go and grow his own little nest of iniquity in the windy Scottish highlands.

Drink the entire case when

1) Jack shags the Weevil

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Drink the entire bottle if:

A homosexual snog occurs under no alien influence whatsoever.

Harkness says "What?" in response to his co-workers' incomprehensible Welsh accents.

Gwen shoots herself in the behind while reholstering her unfamiliar weapon.

The pterodactyl poops on someone's head.

The severed hand crawls into someone's pants with the intention of committing an obscene act.

A member of the Royal Family guest stars as a werewolf.

Harkness shags a sheep.

What about drinking when:

1.) Ianto looks guilty or vulnerable for no apparent reason.
2.) Owen wears his white coat.
3.) Tosh says/does something that makes her look really uncool and then tries to act normal.
4.) Some unsuspecting soon-to-be victim does something really stupid (generally near the beginning of the episode).
5.) We see a scene featuring the Torchwood crew chilling together in the bat-cave.
6.) Gwen starts worrying about her (now SHAM) relationship with Rhys.

Finish the bottle when:

1.) We see someone's bare bottom (be honest - it's only a matter of time).
2.) Someone says "Torchwood? Who on earth are they? I've never heard of them. They must be ultra-secret."
EveryonesMom · 12 March 2010
Man, who trashed the gap? That gap is adorable.